What you need to do to be happy. How to be happy

The concept of “happiness” is studied in psychology, philosophy, theology and even in occultism. Happiness as a phenomenon means satisfaction with oneself, with one’s everyday life, with one’s life, in the end. Happiness cannot be assessed in any quantitative terms. A beggar whose back is warmed by the sun can be happy, and a rich financier who is worried about not being able to invest money somewhere on time can be unhappy.

According to the International Happiness Index, the happiest people live in Costa Rica, Vietnam and Colombia.

Thus, we can conclude that accepting happiness into your life is not so difficult. It is enough to look at your existence from a slightly different angle and a person instantly turns from unhappy to happy. It turns out that Appius' words are true. Only by his own will can a person become happy. One favorable event may give way to another, but until a person is satisfied with the state of affairs, he will remain unhappy.

Now to the question of how to achieve happiness? Since happiness is a matter of personal satisfaction, there is no need to achieve anything here. You can spend a long time writing plans to achieve goals, achieving these goals, and as a result you end up with spiritual emptiness. On the contrary, you can look at your life in bright colors: there is a roof over your head, food in the refrigerator, there is a computer, there is a wife, there is a cat, in the end. And then these facts can be rethought: half of the friends do not have their own apartment and spend a significant portion of their salary on rent. The poor people who sometimes meet on the street have much less food, and there is no refrigerator at all. I dreamed of my own computer throughout my childhood, and now I have it, but for some reason it doesn’t bring me much joy. But there is also a TV with hundreds of satellite channels (including sports), mobile phone, camera. About 15 years ago, all this seemed like a pipe dream. It was thought that such things only existed, and only to the rich. And now all this is available. Why then did you forget to rejoice at all these acquisitions?

Not everyone has a wife. Several years ago I dreamed about this girl, saw the future with her as a happy fairy tale. Now this girl has become a wife, so why did the satisfaction from this fact quickly disappear? And my parents didn’t allow me to have a cat. And now you can start it. No one will even forbid you to have a dog.

Aristotle considered friends to be a good thing that a happy person should have.

With these simple manipulations you can life situation find bright colors. Even at a moment when everything is objectively bad, you need to try to find a ray of happiness and cling to it, trying to find more and more reasons for satisfaction in life. In such a positive state, one must look for more and more evidence that life is a happy fairy tale. And there will be confirmations, you just need to pay attention to them. For example, the salary was raised a little, an inexpensive vacation package came across, the road was repaired, and friendly neighbors settled nearby instead of the rowdies.

Of course there will be breakdowns. I watched bad news on television, someone cursed me on a social network, the dollar rose, and my car was covered in mud. There is no need to focus your attention on this. Gradually you need to remember your dreams from childhood and youth. And implement them. Wanted to go to Brazil? Now the borders are open - I saved up some money and move on. Maybe he wanted to become a hockey player? There is an amateur hockey league with real uniforms, regular matches and even fans in the stands. Did you dream of becoming a knight, like in one of the novels you read? You can join a reenactment or role-playing games club. Don't have the money right now to make your dream come true? There is no need to be sad; you can postpone it until a more appropriate time. And an option for implementation may appear without using money. You should spend your entire life in this state of mind. Then you can truly rightfully call yourself a happy person.

All people want to be happy. When a person is happy, he is confident, purposeful, healthy and enjoys life. But happiness is not a random gift of fate, but the whole process, which depends on many factors formed in the human consciousness. After all, only by properly managing one’s thinking can a person always be happy. Let's look at what happiness is, what you need to get rid of in order to be happy, and how to attract positive emotions into your life.

Happiness is a state of a person when he experiences positive emotions, including joy, pride, pleasure, gratitude. In other words, happiness is a feeling of satisfaction with life.

Any positive emotion can be a source of happiness - from riding a roller coaster to the birth of a child. It depends on the values, interests, desires of the person. Therefore, there is no universal definition of happiness. But most often it is the result of good physical and mental (mental) health, which depends on a person’s behavior and lifestyle. This confirms the popular expression of the American journalist John Leland: “Happiness is a choice you make.”

What prevents you from being happy?

Unfortunately, there are many factors that are deeply rooted in a person's mind and prevent him from becoming happy, including:

Fear, which is confirmed by the words of the ancient Roman philosopher Seneca “Where there is fear, there is no happiness.” Fear has the ability to control life. It prevents you from doing not only dangerous, but also successful things. IN modern world there is a fear of happiness, or sherophobia,–a state in which people consciously avoid activities that evoke positive emotions. Psychologists believe that one of the reasons for sherophobia– the belief that happiness is fleeting and leads to negative events. If you overcome your fears, you can start living a happy life.
Negative thoughts. A person controls his own thoughts. If negative thoughts prevail over positive ones, he cannot be happy. The statement in your head “I will never be successful” will lead to uncertainty and low self-esteem. When a negative thought appears, you need to replace it with a positive one: from “This is impossible” to “I’ll try” and so on.
Past mistakes. Everyone has a past. It can be filled with good experiences or mistakes that spoil the present and future. People often continue to live in despair or bitterness over mistakes because they cannot let go of the baggage of the past. Only by letting go of the past can you make life easier, enjoy the present moment and allow yourself to be happy. Looking back, you'll be glad you did it.
Other people's dreams. Many people live the dreams of others - parents, friends, acquaintances. They are so busy trying to make other people's dreams come true that they don't live their own lives. They don't know what they want, what they need. There is only one life and you must live it on your terms. Stop living other people's dreams and find something that makes you happy.
Waiting for the approval of others. All people want to be loved, but some people constantly try to please others in order to meet their expectations. You will never please everyone because everyone has different ideals. Instead, focus on what makes you happy.
Comparing yourself with others. People often compare themselves to others, which is their fatal mistake. There will always be someone smarter and more successful than you. But you have your merits. Instead of watching other people's lives, it is better to focus on yourself and develop your strengths. Give up the desire to impress others and you will be much happier.

While happiness looks different for each person, it is only through search that we can find what is right for us. To help you start your journey, here are 15 ways to become happier:

Think positively. It is impossible to live without problems, but your attitude towards them is important. Positive thinking helps to cope with difficulties, in which a person remembers that bad events are temporary and provide an opportunity to learn and grow. So always focus on the good things and try not to focus on the negative.
Celebrate your achievements and spend time on your hobbies. Recognize your successes to be proud of yourself and see progress that motivates you to move forward and achieve new goals. Do what you love for fun. Hobbies help you cope with stress, create a social circle and make life more interesting. Develop and learn new skills in hobbies and professions to enjoy your work.
Express gratitude. Learning to appreciate accomplishments big and small has a positive impact on your life. Give thanks for blessings every day to improve your mood and attract positivity.
Forgive insults. You may hold grudges against people who hurt you. But the main thing is to understand that resentment is mental trauma, causing you harm because you retain unpleasant, painful memories. Don't get caught up in anger and the desire for revenge. The way to free yourself from this pain is forgiveness. You can forgive the offender in your heart without engaging in conversation with him. Research has shown that letting go of grievances improves well-being, reduces anxiety, and strengthens the immune system.
Let go of what is out of your control. Ask yourself what you can change in a particular situation. If it is possible to solve the problem, make an effort and do it, otherwise just let it go.
Be surrounded by positive people. Spend time with like-minded people who support, inspire, lift your spirits and believe in you. Limit or stop communicating with people who upset you and cause bad emotions. Being around the people you love makes you happier. A study by American scientists showed that when hugging, the body releases beneficial Chemical substance"serotonin" decreases blood pressure and heart rate, making you more relaxed.
Get a pet. Pets help relieve depression. If you are ready to be responsible for an animal, four-legged friend will become a member of the family and bring many smiles and laughter. A pet's love in response to care can make everyone happy.
Observe healthy eating and good sleep. Physical health is closely related to emotional state person. Eating a large amount of fruits and vegetables containing many useful substances (vitamins, minerals) improves appearance, improves mood and productivity. To maintain good health, you need 8-9 hours of healthy sleep every day.
Exercise. Regular exercise is good for the body and mind. Physical activity stimulates the production of energy and happiness hormones “endorphins”, which improve well-being, self-esteem, and quality of sleep. Adults are recommended to engage in various physical activities (walking, running, cycling, dancing, etc.) for at least 3 hours a week. Yoga and meditation are suitable for relieving stress, helping to relax the muscles.
Get moving, spend time outdoors. Movement is life. Get outside, as being in the fresh air relieves stress, relaxes you, while oxygen adds energy. The mood is lifted by sunlight, under the influence of which the body produces vitamin D. People lacking this vitamin are more prone to depression, anxiety, and fatigue.
Set goals. According to psychologists, people who set goals - short-term or long-term - are happier than people without goals. Neuroscientist Richard Davidson discovered that working toward a goal not only activates positive feelings, but also suppresses negative emotions. Goals motivate people to move forward.
Plan pleasant events. Plan a vacation or a pleasant anticipated event. A reminder of an upcoming trip, concert, sporting event or meeting with friends lifts your mood in any environment. Good experiences bring happiness.
Cultivate kindness in yourself, help others. Research shows that acts of kindness contribute to your well-being. Kindness and helping other people and animals gives a feeling of warmth. Charity, community service or other ways of helping make you happier.
Smile more often. A sincere smile is a symbol of happiness. Think about what makes you laugh. When you smile, your brain releases serotonin, which lifts your mood. Learn to smile when you look at your reflection in the mirror. Positivity will fill your life with happiness.
Enjoy simple things. Learn to enjoy the little things, as true happiness is based on spiritual values and lies in simple things. The presence of a loved one, friends, family nearby is already a happy, unique moment. Some people chase material things (car, house, shoes, etc.), mistakenly believing that they will make them truly happy. But rich people don't report more high level happiness. Therefore, you need to appreciate what you have.

How to find happiness (video)

In the video you will find useful tips about how to make yourself happy.

Thus, happiness is a choice, since it largely depends on a person’s behavior and on how he manages his emotions and builds relationships with others. You control your happiness by choosing every day whether to be happy or not. Follow these simple tips to become the happiest person.

From time to time, all creative people are familiar with the feeling of inner devastation and mental burnout. These days the mood becomes bad, new ideas don’t come to mind, you don’t want to create and you can’t do it. This state can occur after prolonged creative work or as a result of life shocks and stresses not directly related to creativity. Of course, you can give your body a rest, get some sleep, eat delicious food, go on vacation and, as a result, regain your strength. But how can you subsequently regain inspiration and find yourself back in the realm of ideas?

Negative emotions can arise in anyone. Everyone has problems, stressful situations, difficult days... All this pumps a ton of vital energy out of a person, makes him lethargic and tired, doomed and sick. Because of negativity, quarrels with loved ones, rude communication with others, curses between people and hatred of the whole world arise.

A crisis situation is characterized by internal or external events that make the usual pattern of life impossible. As a rule, such changes are accompanied by negative feelings and thoughts, and the emergence of a new life status. A crisis period makes it necessary to reconsider life, change priorities and values. This is a time of change.

How to attract love into your life, what should you do for this and is it necessary? Firstly, there are no universal recipes, tips or manuals to follow. Secondly, if in this case the word “work” is in principle appropriate, then the work should start with yourself, the changes should be primarily internal.

Everyone had problems associated with low mood, stress, and lashing out at loved ones over trifles. This must be dealt with, as it can cause discomfort to the human body. After all, physical and psychological health are interconnected.

Toilet paper, pasta, canned food, soap are just some of the items that are quickly disappearing from supermarket shelves in the midst of the coronavirus outbreak. Let's call a spade a spade: these are not purchases out of necessity, but purchases out of panic. And although this is a completely understandable reaction of people to an uncertain situation, it does not affect the lives of others in the best way.

The level of self-esteem somehow influences a person’s actions. A person constantly underestimates his capabilities, as a result, “life prizes” go to others. If your self-esteem is falling lower and lower, then the 20 tips given in this article will help you. By starting to apply them in your life, you can increase your self-esteem and become a confident person.

Many will agree that, from time to time, they are overcome by unwanted thoughts that cannot be gotten rid of. They can be so strong that even doing something interesting doesn’t help at all. This is accompanied by negative emotions, which add painful sensations. Sometimes it seems that it is impossible to overcome such thoughts, but if you look at the problem from different points of view, you can find the right solution.

We kill our happiness with our own hands. The negativity that we carry in ourselves towards others, destructive thoughts, envy, anger, resentment - this list is endless. Review your life, let go of unpleasant memories, get rid of people, activities and things that poison your mind. Tune in to goodness and positivity. Do something pleasant, something you have long dreamed of.

Probably each of us dreams of waking up one morning and feeling maximum happiness and peace of mind. Happiness is a state of complete satisfaction with one's life. This is an entirely subjective characteristic.. Looking at a person from the outside, we can only guess whether he is happy. Only he himself feels it.

The feeling of happiness never directly depends on status, financial capabilities, social environment, etc. Often people with material wealth, many friends and a good family feel unhappy. And sometimes a person who is not particularly wealthy, with a difficult fate, can experience real happiness. Here everything completely depends on ourselves.

What influences the feeling of happiness

Values. Each of us has a certain set of significant values ( “to love and be loved”, “family”, “interesting work”, “freedom”, “constant development” etc.), and if they are present in our life, then the feeling of happiness does not leave us.
Achieving your goals. Some people have simple and quickly achievable goals, while others have ambitious goals that require a lot of effort. But one way or another, the main criterion of happiness here is the result obtained.
Satisfying needs. The key is to satisfy precisely those needs that a person puts at the forefront. You can be a hungry artist, but if the most important thing for him is recognition or self-expression and this is realized, then he is likely to experience happiness. But if the most significant needs regularly remain unsatisfied, then the person is unhappy.
. If we are satisfied with ourselves and adequately evaluate ourselves, then we become more confident and feel inner harmony. If we are not at peace with ourselves, we are constantly engaged in self-digging, then we cannot feel completely happy.
Health. Health problems always affect the feeling of happiness to a greater or lesser extent. Therefore, it is important to be attentive to your condition in order to be able to prevent serious violations in time.

What prevents you from being happy

Unfortunately (or fortunately, excuse the tautology), our own attitudes, beliefs, and thoughts almost always prevent us from being happy.

Creating obstacles. Quite often, we ourselves come up with various difficulties and obstacles on the path to happiness, believing that it does not come easy and we have to pay for everything. It seems that true happiness must be suffered and won... But paradoxically, while we are struggling with imaginary barriers and obstacles, it goes away and we don’t notice it. We don't allow ourselves to be happy. .
The weight of the past. Being happy is often hindered by negative events that have ever happened to us. The experiences associated with them constantly return us to that time, and we become fixated on the problems of the past.

Turn around. It simply cannot be that nothing brings joy and at least for a moment is not a reason for happiness. It consists of little things. You were given a compliment, you successfully completed an important task, your baby smiled at you, you attended an interesting event... Every day we are faced with many reasons to be happy. Our task is to notice them and rejoice.

Listening to the singing of birds, the rustling of grass in the wind and leaves underfoot are useful actions for inner peace and establishing a connection with the world. Enjoy the simplest things. They charge you with positive energy and allow you to be distracted from bad thoughts and feel happier.

Break the vicious circle.

For example, we may feel sad about not achieving what we want. And we don’t achieve it because we sit and don’t take any action (or act in the wrong way), because all our thoughts are occupied with unnecessary worries and looking for someone to blame. And it often seems that this circle cannot be broken. We are all waiting for circumstances to change dramatically or for some great luck to fall on us. The likelihood of this happening is low. And the only way out is in ourselves. You need to break the circle by stopping worrying and starting to act. Any steps and attempts to change the situation or attitude towards life will bring you closer to happiness.

Get carried away.

You should definitely have something you love – something that inspires and energizes you. Creative activities and sports allow you to express yourself and cope with stress. But this can be more than just a hobby. For example, realizing oneself as a mother, a caring wife, and doing household chores also allows one to feel truly happy woman at any age: both at 20 and at 40 years old.

Rest and...

If you're exhausted and don't get enough sleep regularly, you're unlikely to feel completely happy. Healthy sleep not only helps to restore strength, but also to put thoughts and feelings in order.

Follow your goals and finish what you start.

The more completed tasks you have in your piggy bank, the freer and more harmonious you will feel. and do not give up on them when you encounter obstacles.

Bring happiness into another person's life.

The more often you do good deeds and please others, the happier you will become. The positive energy from your good deeds will definitely return to you. This is the pattern. Give gifts to others, say nice words, provide support, do charity work. The feeling that you are making a difference in the world helps you understand how you become happy.

Look at the future not with fear, but with hope.

Stick to the principle and constantly remind yourself: “ It's good now, but it will be even better" Make plans and look forward to their implementation. The more actively you can act and implement your plans, the more interesting the future will seem to you.

Have in your arsenal a list of life-affirming phrases that lift your spirits and make you feel happier. For example:
“I am getting better and better at coping with difficulties”
"I like myself"
“There are many pleasant moments in my life,” etc.
Weigh your “I want” and “I’m afraid”.

It is most convenient to write them down on paper in 2 columns. Try to remember as many of your “I want” and “I’m afraid” as possible. It’s good if there are much more of the former than the latter. After all, the energy of desires always inspires us, makes us more confident, and the energy of fears slows down actions, forcing us to abandon our intentions.

How to become a happy wife

When creating a family, a woman always wants to become happy and loved. What helps to achieve this?

It is important to remain feminine, affectionate and attractive. Let your men feel like reliable defenders and knights next to you. This is a powerful incentive for self-realization.
Show care and attention towards your husband. Smile while waiting for him to return from work, ask how his day was, give him the opportunity to fully rest, please him with delicious food.
Support a man's self-esteem: praise him, recognize his achievements and abilities.
Don't be too demanding of your husband, don't control his every move. He needs to feel a certain degree of freedom and independence.
Keep your home cozy and tidy, keep it clean, create comfortable living conditions for your family, and take maximum care of your children. A man is always in a hurry to return to the warmth of his home.
Give your love, strive for physical intimacy, trust and respect him.

How to become a happy mother

For most representatives of the fair sex, the question of how to become a happy woman is equated with the task of becoming a happy mother.

Feel the joy from every contact with your child: when he smiles at you, when you feed him, when you sing a lullaby and watch him fall asleep, when you play with him and just communicate.
Allow yourself to rest and do personal business, because your child needs a lot of your attention and care. You need to restore your strength and recharge with positive energy. Don't forget about getting enough sleep and your hobbies.
Love yourself and show your child confidence. This will allow you to be convinced that “I am a good mother and am doing everything right.”
Be active and emotional while communicating and playing with your baby. The more pleasant emotions you experience with him, the higher your satisfaction with motherhood will be.
Try to trust your child at any age, encourage his initiative and respect his personality. He feels it and will treat you the same.
Rejoice in the development of your child, notice the positive impact of your educational influence.
Be flexible when raising your baby, listen to his needs and mood.
Attend cultural events with your children more often. Interest is guaranteed for both you and them.
Children develop us and change us for the better. Be open to this experience. There really is a lot to learn from them.

We summarize all of the above in the following lines:

Happiness adorns our lives

Sow its seeds in your soul,

And hurry to give it to others.

All good things will return - believe it!

Video about how to become a happy woman.

practicing psychologist Elena Sultanova

Happiness is a state to which, consciously or not, almost everyone strives. Another thing is that everyone has their own happiness: some have a prosperous family, some have professional self-realization, some have material wealth.

Being a happy person is both simple and difficult. The difficulty is that in order to become happy, you need to know some conditions for achieving happiness, more about them below. But the main difficulty is that happiness has ceased to exist interesting people. Almost anyone can be easily convinced of this modern book, film or song: the destinies of the heroes are distorted by some tragedy, someone's untimely death, an accident, unrequited love. And thus, we learn to empathize not with happiness, but with misfortune. And it is misfortune that we most often try on ourselves. Anyone who is happy is of no interest to anyone, at best. And at worst, it causes hostility. Remember how Toska said in “Girls”: “You are happy, Katka, but happiness blinds people.”

Another difficulty on the path to happiness is our misconception that happiness is difficult to achieve. We are generally accustomed to thinking that good things must be earned, and that what comes easily is worth nothing. There is even an expression - “hard-earned happiness.” Often, instead of becoming truly happy, we begin to obtain this happiness by inventing obstacles and suffering for ourselves out of the blue. We don't believe in happiness if it just comes into our hands. We consider real what has been suffered, obtained, earned, and never what is in our hands easily and joyfully.

How can one still be happy?

At the very beginning, we said that being happy is not only difficult, but also simple. In order to be happy, you only need an inner desire and intention to be happy. It is not circumstances that make a person happy, but the internal readiness to be happy and the ability to be content with what he has. Surely everyone is familiar with the state when everything seems to be there for happiness, but there is no happiness itself. But happiness does not come when there are no problems. When you are happy, troubles and failures can happen in life. However, a happy person understands that there can be troubles and failures, and accepts them not as obstacles, but as springboards - in order to better push off.